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“Holy Cow!” Quite literally and figuratively, because the first national voluntary cow exam details are out!

Touted together of its kind, Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog (RKA), the govt body specially founded for cow welfare has announced that it’ll conduct a state online examination on ‘gauvigyan’ (cow science) on February 25, every year; starting from this year, 2021. RKA comes under the Ministry of Fisheries, farming, and Dairying.

“The examination is free of cost and can be held annually. It will be held in 12 regional languages aside from Hindi and English. There are going to be 100 multi-choice questions and a duration of 1 hour will be given to the candidates”, said Rashtriya Kamdhenu Aayog Chairman Vallabhbhai Kathiria.

“The main aim of the exam is to boost mass awareness about the indigenous cows among young students and each other citizen” “Cow is filled with science that must be explored. It plays a crucial role in the 5 trillion economies of the country, he added.

The exam, called the Kamdhenu Gau-Vigyan Prachar-Prasar Examination will have separate papers for four categories of examinees, three of which are divided according to the stage of education – primary and middle school ( up to 8th standard ), secondary ( 9th standard to 12th standard ), college ( after 12th standard )– and one for the general public. The online registration for the examination will commence from January 14 until February 20, and results will be declared on the day of the exam itself. Certificates will be given to all.

The study material for this exam released by the RKA proves to be the most interesting aspect of this new venture. The RKA has released a 54-page PDF syllabus file for download on its website.

Strangely, an exam that aims at spreading awareness about science and testing the knowledge/Vigyan, has very little correlation with what is mentioned in the document released by the RKA. The document includes the Vedic significance related to cows, their mention in ancient texts, the five big contributions that cows have been making to humankind (milk, curd, ghee, urine, and dung), etc.

It very appallingly makes a distinction between ‘desi’ cows ‘exotic’ cows, making a direct conclusion as to how the former has more benefits and is of more use, than the latter, without giving any factual evidence; apparently, the Jersey cows do not give good quality, but only a good quantity of milk.

One can encounter a good number of strange statements while skimming through the document, some of them being “Whenever any unknown person comes near desi cow, she will immediately stand.” “It has also been seen that an exotic cow attracts infection by not being hygienic enough.” “The color of Indian cow milk is light yellow as it has traces of gold in it”. “In 1984, quite 20,000 people died thanks to gas leaks in Bhopal. People living in houses with dung coated walls weren’t affected,”.

The document makes tall claims of presenting a cure for nearly all the diseases if any byproduct of the cow is consumed by the ailing. Psoriasis and cancer are one of the fatal diseases that are apparently going to vanish into thin air if the urine of the cow is taken daily by the diseased. It also mentions some of the recipes to spray on the crops for a good yield, by making an absolutely perfect blend of the cow byproducts.

However, not all of it seems unbelievable and outlandish, as some of the pointers in the document seem to be informative; as it speaks about the wide varieties and the measures to be taken to take care of the animals. A tad bit of global warming and how to tackle it is mentioned too.

Although, as one head to the end of the document, it reeks of propaganda, rather than some useful information; for example, “Africans for thousands of years used cow dung cakes as fuel. In the 18th and 19th century missionaries taught them to offer up this ‘uncivilized’ practice. People turned to forests for fuel and in no time the continent was bald.”

Lastly, under the garb of sounding scientific, it blames the consumption of beef by the people, being the sole reason for the rise in earthquakes.